The Face of Autism

This is just a fun little project that included everyone in the family. My husband shot this photo while doing an Eli "photo shoot," meaning stalking him with a camera until a picture of his face is obtained. (He also managed to get one with a big smile!) I did alittle photo editing on the photo. (I did tons of photo editing in college... already getting rusty!) It is still overexposed, etc, but I found the end result with his little gaze to be pretty meaningful. I can also imagine my brother at this age looking at me with his own gaze which somehow still looks at me and through me at the same time.

Backyard Pictures

Eli makes me laugh. He is very interested in the camera, and he notices when I take a picture. He wants to see the picture on the little screen of the camera every time. The funny part is that for all his interest, he sure resists being photographed! Here is one of him hiding his face and running around when he saw me with the camera.



I was just lucky to get this next one, I guess. It does drive me alittle bit crazy that he won't just give me one of his gorgeous smiles for a picture, but his pouty face is just as cute! He may still be working on the language, but he is extremely expressive without it. (You should hear his pouty "aaaaoooowww" expression that accompanies this face.)

Another Chem Free Idea

Here's my son's used, beat up tube of toothpaste. He has actually been using this type of toothpaste for quite some time. I guess this one was a no brainer for me since it goes in his mouth and he swallows it. It is completely natural, and I opt to give him the fluoride free version. Why? I guess I am skeptical of this fluoride stuff when it comes to my sensitive little boy. I mean, if the label of fluoride toothpastes say that poisoning can occur if more than a pea sized amount is swallowed, it can't possibly be safe for his delicate system. That's what my fears have been, anyway.

Mother's Day

For me Mother's Day was pretty retrospective. I thought about the last four years that I have been a mother and how much joy it has brought to me. I thought about how much I have learned along the way, about being a mom, and about autism. Somewhere in a dark quadrant of mind I also began to think about what I would do differently if I could do it all again. I was thinking that just maybe, if the me now could go back in time, maybe I could save my son from classical autism.


2005

Of course that was the point where I had to tell myself to just snap out of it. Guilt is just something us moms do to ourselves, but why? I have no way of knowing if doing anything differently would have made a difference. I don't know what it was that tipped him into autism. It was likely lots of things. Except for the protection of possible future siblings of his, I need to learn to not think about what I would have done differently.


2005

What does matter: That I do what I can to help my son now.

I will remind myself of that when I groan to myself over supplement time, or when I am running across town to the natural foods store to get the gluten free pasta mix to make the dish that he loves. Or perhaps when he comes to me at the end of a frustrating day with his blanket in tow saying "mom, mom, mom" and curls up in my lap.

My son is so sweet and I love him and all the happiness he brings to his dad and I. Every progress he makes is monumental to us, and progress keeps coming and coming!

We will do everything we can for you son, and we are excited to grow with you and someday see the man that you grow up to be!

Happy belated Mother's Day to all you moms out there.