My Average Student

When my son was 18 months old, he was not talking or communicating at age level, as a family member pointed out as a possible problem. She suggested I get it checked out with the school district. The school district had an early intervention program which was free if he qualified for services, and so I figured we had nothing to lose. He did end up qualifying for services, and he has had an IEP ever since.

With the IEP comes a yearly meeting, along with testing to see if he still qualifies for services. The test measures where the child is developmentally compared to peers. It is admittedly disheartening to walk out of those meetings sometimes, after you hear; "Your child is in the 5th percentile for such and such, and in the 8th percentile for such and such." And so on down the test, and of course being in the 5th percentile for something means that 95 percent of children the same age are at a higher level. The testers have always been very kind to us and have always explained that communication was a huge setback, but that didn't always make the meetings easier.

After years of this, how exciting it was to go to a recent parent-teacher conference and to be presented with Eli's current academic scores for reading and math! He scored right at grade level for reading, and in math he was not as high, but still within the average range. I have an average student! Now I know that this test he took and the developmental tests of the IEP are not the same, we are not comparing apples to apples here, but this is still amazing. I could not be any prouder of my little guy. I just feel that if his communication has improved to such a level to understand all this abstract academic material, we are also approaching a much better developmental level, too.

Independence

The founder of my faith once said that all minds are 'susceptible of enlargement.' We have had substantial proof that this statement is true as we have seen our son change, evolve, and grow as we have followed the programs/therapies that we have been blessed to have for him.

My husband and I have always tried to be aware of teaching our son to be independent. This is much harder to actually do in practice than I ever thought! Especially when your child has special challenges, helping them to reach that goal of independence in those things that are within their reach is so extremely vital.

As a mom of an only child, I am the first to admit that I do too much for him. Because he is the only one, and because he did not have typical development, I have a hard time knowing what is age appropriate for him. His teachers always have to get after me for not letting him do things for himself. They have even explained to me that this even extends to helping him learn to control his emotions.

His teachers have explained that immediately hugging is not the best thing to do when a melt down happens. The issue here is that Eli cannot have more time main streaming in the regular kindergarten until he can stop having these emotional melt downs. They have told me that he needs to learn to control his emotions on his own, and I know that they are right. I am trying to learn to ask him if he needs a break, or to tell him in a neutral voice that he is ok, and letting him start to calm down on his own before I ask him if he needs a hug. What a tall order for me to fill! I am really trying though, because this is an important step for him-- an independence he needs to gain. How wonderful it is that we live in a school district that is so aware of the needs of autistic children and that is so dedicated to helping them meet these important goals.