My Valentine

Eli's expressions of love are often not verbal. Over the last two years, we have had more hugs that he has initiated, but it does not occur to him to verbally express love often. I am always pleased with a hug or kiss on the cheek at bedtime when I tell him how much I love him and say goodnight. On a very rare occasion, "I love you, too, Mom." Most often the "I love you's" come in the form of notes, which I treasure. This time, around Valentine's Day, he had me come into the living room to show me a surprise. He wrote me a love note out of his building blocks.

B12

     For about three years now, I have been sneaking up to my son's room at night and sticking him with a needle. For most of that time I have just hated doing it. Now it is so routine, I get more upset when I can't do it, like if we accidentally run out, or if he isn't asleep enough to stay still enough, even after the numbing cream. The reason being that he is doing so very well, and changing the therapy routine can really throw things off. No B12 can mean emotional melt downs the next day. It can mean climbing under desks at school.
    I describe our routine to others as "B12 by injection." The pharmacy that I order it from calls it methylcobal. Every month I spend about $35 dollars on it, and I have it delivered to our door, because the pharmacy we get it from is over an hour away. It comes in a small Styrofoam cooler, which is still really big for how tiny the little bottle is. The bottle is about 1 inch tall. I always have to remember to order syringes, because once I forgot, and I found out that Rite-Aid will not sell them to me. Duh.
   I have to keep on a schedule with giving it to him. Every third night, about 20 minutes after bedtime, he is usually in a deep enough sleep that I can put a tiny circle of numbing cream on the injection site and he won't roll over on it. I then go downstairs and set a timer for 20 minutes. At the end of the 20 minutes, I draw the dose up myself, because it is cheaper than getting the syringes pre-filled. I go up to his room, wipe off the numbing cream, and administer the injection just how his doctor's nurse taught me. He does not even know that I do this. If any of you were wondering if I was crazy, why yes, yes I am. I stick my son with needles in the dark.